I cannot hold a baby

I cannot hold a baby. It’s hopeless. I tried about 5 years ago for the first time, and the baby did what they all do. She slumped. Her chin looked like someone had glued it to her chest. She tried to be tolerant for 3 seconds, which is very patient for a baby. Then she squirmed, whined, and looked generally unhappy, until her mother rescued me from my misery. Oh, and the baby from hers.

I truly am terrible. My family even has been known to make me practice on a pillow. There are pictures to prove this.

I’ve tried since with no luck. There are many excuses: My arms are too long. I am too lanky. I never have been around babies. My hormones contain baby repellent.

Somehow, though, over the past year or so, there has been a change in me. I want to put babies through that. I want to hold them, and make them tolerate me for longer. I want to cuddle them. Smell them. Make them cry. (Preferably not make them cry, but if that’s what it takes, if they have to be uncomfortable for me to be close to them, that’s what they’re going to have to do!)

So, the time has come. I am ready. My husband is ready. We are trying. And I am dreaming mommy dreams. Wish us luck.

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