2nd doc visit: Find my baby, please!

I went to the doctor for the second time today. I’m at about 10 weeks now, food aversion starting to subside, just barely starting to show.

The reception nurse handed me a teeny tiny vile and a paper cup when I signed in. She acted like I should know the routine. I looked at it, looked at her, and when it was clear she wasn’t going to explain the 2 container process, I clarified. “Umm, so I should, umm, go in here?” I said, holding out the small vile. Seemed an impossibly messy task. The cup then, would be for…quenching my thirst after?

“You go in the paper cup, then transfer that to the vile. Bring it back here, and place it in one of these cups on the counter,” she explained. Now I know.

We weighed (2 pound gain), blood pressured, then I waited for the doc. She asked a few more medical questions, then said we get to hear the baby. Hear the baby!

She used this little plastic speaker ultrasound thing, splattered the gel, then started the search. She searched. I thought she started to look a little worried. I pictured Marley and Me, where they can’t find the baby and it turns out Jennifer Aniston is going to miscarry.

Then, a heartbeat! “No, that’s your heart,” the doc said. Oh. Then she started to reassure me that it sometimes takes a little while to hear the heartbeat at 10 weeks. That’s just when they are able to start hearing it. I started to feel okay. Then I heard it.

It was twice as fast as mine had sounded. It was steady. It was a beauty. It was my baby! I teared up, and started laughing at the same time. Because my stomach was bouncing, the doc had to keep refinding it.

Until now, I have felt a little detached. Because of not feeling well, I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about being pregnant. Plus, we haven’t told anyone, as we were waiting for a good report from this appointment. Because of the detachment, I felt a little heartless. On top of all that, I’m a person who cries at Hallmark commercials, but real-life emotional things I should cry about rarely tear me up. But now, I am starting to know how much I already love this baby. His heart evoked tears of love and joy from me. I can’t imagine how much I will love his kicks. His movement. His growth. And him, when I finally get to meet him!

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